Ages and Stages –Six Years to Twelve Years

The work of the child at this stage is to:

To learn to cooperate
To identify with same sex
To take on more responsibility within the family
To learn about family values
To disagree and still beloved
To learn the difference between wants and needs
To experience consequences
To test ideas and values
To learn about other’s values and ideas

The children at this plane of development are moving from the concrete to the abstract, they are moving toward the age of reason (complete at 10), they use their imagination, and they are intensely interested in right versus wrong (moral justice). Children at this age begin to use their imagination to think about cause and effect and to reflect on the consequences of previous behavior. They are very interested in right, wrong, and fairness. They want to test limits and argue their point of view. By using their imagination, they can reflect ways their behavior or choices affect others. They compare themselves to others

The work of the caregivers:

Caregivers need to delineate responsibility for themselves and the child. They need to be a reliable source of information for the child. Caregivers must set and enforce limits, and they must be sure tot have the child be an active participant in the family by helping with family chores and contributing to the decision making process. They need to listen respectfully to the child’s ideas and be accepting of their opinions while explaining their views about values, beliefs, and right and wrong. They need to teach by example the way to disagree fairly.

What caregivers need to avoid:

Fail to place limits on screen and electronic time
Expectations of perfection
Rigid rules or no limits
Allow child to believe they are first
Giving child whatever is asked for
Fail to allow children to be unhappy or experience failure
Filling child’s time with activities so there is no free time to imagine and explore
Fail to let child experience consequences

http://www.oaktrails.org/