Identifying and Setting Limits

Q. My three year old son keeps jumping on the furniture. I tell him “no,” that it’s not safe, and that’s not the way we treat our furniture but it doesn’t work. I’ve even tried time outs. What else can I do?

A. You have a great start because you have identified safety and respect as limits. Now you need the words and actions to implement the limits.

Decide ways and places that you can allow your child to express his need to jump. Tell your child about the way and place that he may jump. The next time he jumps on the furniture use positive words to tell him what he may do. “The couch is for sitting. You may jump in the special place I showed you. You may go there to jump.” You may need to be more proactive the first few times until the new behavior is established. “Can you go by yourself or do you need help?” If he ignores you, kindly and gently pick him up and say, “I see you need help.” Take him to the jumping place, and allow him space and time to digest the event. The fewer the words used the better.

Be consistent and follow through the same way every time while the new behavior is established.