Ages and Stages – Three Years to Six Years

The work of the child at this stage is to:


To learn that others don’t think like they do
To learn about the world
To learn that behavior has consequences
To separate fantasy from reality
To learn socially acceptable behavior
To become a member of a community (family, school, etc)

The children in this age group are still in the first plane of development, but at this point learning becomes conscious. Between and four children learn that others are not thinking what they are thinking. Because they think that you are thinking what they are thinking, children are not lying. They think everyone has the same thoughts. Children with older siblings learn this closer to three. Only children or the oldest sibling learns this closer to four. Children at this stage start cooperative play. Children at this age engage in fantasy play and may take on roles. They also become interested in games. They also are curious about sex roles, and they practice behavior for sex role identification.

The work of the caregivers:

Caregivers can help the child identify their place in the family by having the child do tasks that assist the family. Provide information about the world and correct misinformation. Support your child’s exploration of the world. Set limits and be consistent. Be clear about responsibility. Be clear about the separation between fantasy and reality. Respond calmly and truthfully to child’s interest in the body.

What caregivers need to avoid:

Not requiring participation in family life (chores)
Teasing child about fantasy roles
Arguing with the child about who is right or wrong
Not answering questions accurately
Being inconsistent
Being rigid and not listening to the child
Thinking for the child
Being responsible for things that are the child’s responsibility

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